What Feminism means to me

The word feminism makes me think of…

The word ‘Choice’. This immediate word association is an involuntary action in my mind now. But to say that this was something that naturally came to my mind would be undermining the amount of un-learning and learning one needs to do to understand any concept that poses as a challenge to years and years of socialization and normalization. And what do I mean by this?

At age 3, I started seeing that boys were stopped from crying in the class by teachers because they were ‘boys’

At age 5, I started seeing around me that moms picked up and dropped kids at school and we saw our dads only on Sundays

At age 10, I started seeing how if boys were mean to girls in school, it was put off by saying that ‘Boys will be boys’ or that ‘Boys who are mean to girls probably like them in a special way’

At age 12, I started seeing boys were being excluded from ‘special’ talks on girl’s health topics

At age 13, I started noticing how being called ‘girly’ was negative, how kids around me used words like transgender and gay as negative means to insult one another

At age 16, I started noticing and questioning from the micro level as to why the women in the family had to eat after the men had eaten, and at the macro level as to why women were just being paid lesser than men even for the same amount of work

At age 18, I thought as to why so many women were being raped, and as to why queer individuals couldn’t live the way they want to

Now as a 20-year-old woman, a lifetime trajectory of these questions and observances has led to a realization of all this being a result of patriarchal conditioning. I became aware of the obvious and latent abuses of people under the patriarchal system. From all the things I had learned, seen and read around me, patriarchy as a system was beneficial only to a few, in a few ways. It was clearly a power-laden matrix of social being where the power was concentrated in the hands of a certain type of man, with a certain kind of sexuality, with a certain kind of class-caste dynamic and with a specific kind of status. In all this, I figured out how the system excluded so many other people and disregarded their lives and choices.

I believe that patriarchy and patriarchy induced gender-based discrimination has affected women, homosexuals, trans-individuals, people of varied sexualities and of varied gender identities other than the heteronormative ones in a way that they have been deprived of their basic human rights. In many instances in past and present, they have been deprived of the rights to make their own choices and decisions and forced to adhere to the heteronormative status quo. These instances range from women being barred from voting in the past, the discrimination faced by women at work, depriving trans or intersex individuals from jobs and other social components of being, hate crime against women and queer individuals, and the discrimination faced by homosexual individuals for being themselves. Imagine having to live in a world where you are without causing hurt to others being yourselves but are punished for doing so.

I believe this is where feminism has historically always stepped in. Feminists have fought for women’s right to get access to education, to vote, for gay rights, for trans-queer rights. They have fought and have laid down relevant discourse for unfair things in society that have messed with people’s rights in society. Feminist writers have written extensively on the inequalities in society and on how to obliterate them. In the current era of post-modern Feminism, feminists are including the discourse on how to teach straight men too to choose their own lifestyles and that it isn’t necessary to adhere to a toxic, hegemonic masculinity set by patriarchy. Feminism encourages choice and promotes the idea that everyone has the rights to make their own choice, and that everyone is equal. Feminism, according to me challenges that power concentrated in one section of the population and has time and again fought, written and spoken about how all members of the society should be equal and should have the freedom to choose what they want, for themselves, by themselves.

 Feminism, in its essence, according to me can be defined as a huge and varied school of thought that basically says that, in society, everybody is equal, no matter what their sex is, or what their assigned gender is. The inclusivity of feminism and its pro-choice stance is what makes me believe in feminism as a road towards an intersectional future where there is a place for anyone and everyone has the right to make their own choices. That is why, feminism makes me think of choice, of a revolutionary movement that has been led since several centuries by brave individuals who look at all people around the world and see equality and oneness while respecting the differences each one of us has. In another way, feminism also reminds me of love, respect, knowledge, bravery, and freedom.

Written by Pallavi Pillai

Photo creds: https://bellejar.ca/2015/03/08/4389/